Shadi season is just around the corner, and many practicing Muslim families will be asking themselves whether or not they should fully separate their wedding parties with a partition or have it open with men and women either seated side to side or mixed.

I found a story written from about this issue with a personal story unlike any I had ever heard before. It also includes a cameo by Shaykh Yasir Qadhi, and is posted in full here, followed by my thoughts.

double_wedding_cake10782257_std.jpgLessons From My Wedding
By The Muslim Housewife

As summer comes near so do the abundance of weddings! I thought it would be most appropriate to write a post about lessons I learned from my own wedding. I hope this post will be beneficial for those getting married this summer, and for those who will get married in the future.I will have to admit that writing this post means revisiting a really hard time in my life, but inshallah I think it will be beneficial to share my thoughts and experiences. Continue reading

Allah Ta’ala says:
“Verily, Allah does not love the proud ones.”

Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said:
“He who has a grain of pride in his heart will not enter Jannat.”

Takabbur (pride) is to consider oneself superior to others in attributes of excellence. There are many kinds of takabbur (pride). Most kinds are subtle, concealed and difficult to detect. It is only the thorough gaze of the Shaikh-e-Kaamil (Shaikh of Spiritual development) which can discern such hidden forms of takabbur(pride). In a nutshell takabbur is to voluntarily and consciously regard oneself superior to others in religious or mundane excellence in a way which engenders contempt in the heart for others. This is the reality of takabbur and this is haraam. Takabbur consists of two ingredients,

  1. The feeling of superiority-considering oneself to be great.
  2. Contempt for others.

Takabbur not induced voluntarily, but entering the heart involuntarily is not sinful. Such non-volitional pride is merely the external dimension or form of takabbur. Up to this stage takabbur is not sinful. But when one voluntarily entertains the feeling of pride which had initially crept in involuntarily, then it will be sinful takabbur. In this case the mere form of takabbur is transformed into the reality of takabbur.

Where the condition of contempt for others is non-existent, takabbur– will not be applicable. Mere belief in superiority and inferiority greatness and smallness- is not takabbur. For example: an old man regarding an infant to be small without the notion of contempt for it. But, the one who intentionally considers himself better than others, becomes arrogant. His nafs swells up with pride, the consequences of which then manifest themselves.

Examples of pride are:

  • to regard others with contempt;
  • to take offence when others do not greet one first;
  • to be offended if others do not offer you respect;
  • to be annoyed when someone admonishes you;
  • refusal to concede the truth even after having realized it.

May Allah Ta’ala keep us under His Protection and save us from takabbur, for indeed, it is the severest of maladies. It is the root of all spiritual ailments.

It was takabbur which made shaitaan a deviate. The Hadith Shareef therefore sounds dire warnings in regard to takabbur. Allah Ta’ala has warned that the abode of the proud ones will indeed be vile. Pride is the exclusive prerogative of Allah Ta’ala. Allah Ta’ala will destroy all those who desire to participate in this exclusive Attribute of greatness. Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wasallam said that the mutakabbireen (the proud ones) will be encased in trunks of fire of Jahannam.

This malady is remedied by reflecting on the Splendour, Glory and Majesty of Allah Ta’ala. This reflection will produce in one a realization of one’s own lowly position. Your own excellence will then recede into nothingness. Also, humble yourself in the presence of those whom you regard as your inferior. Be respectful to them so that you become imbued with humility.

May Allah swt save us from all forms of sinful pride, external and internal, Ameen.

To the Masjid we go
Come sun, rain or snow

Five times a day
Muslims are obliged to pray

We prepare by doing ablution
All the while engaging in devotion

With our hearts inclined we do stand
To obey Almighty Allah’s command

We raise our hands and say takbeer
Salah starts and our worries disappear

Beautiful recitation of the Qur’an is heard
Our hearts captivated by these blessed words

Standing, bowing and prostrating with devotion
Allah’s name taken with each and every motion

Till finally with salam does prayer end
We hope the next prayer we are alive to attend

We make du’a for Allah to accept this deed
And back to our homes/ work we proceed.

Allah Ta’ala has said:

“Most certainly, you (O Muhammad!) have been created on a great character.”

Below is a list of praiseworthy chracteristics and attributes that all Muslims should try to adopt:

1. To believe oneself to be the most inferior. Its’ opposite is takabbur (pride).

2. Kindness to creation and to tolerate the difficulties and inconveniences they cause one.

3. Tenderness and cheerfulness and to abandon anger.

4. Sympathy for others and to give preference to them. This implies priority to the rights of others over one’s pleasures.

5. To be generous.

6. To overlook the wrongs of others and to forgive them.

7. To abstain from pretence.

8. To spend in moderation, without being miserly or wasteful.

9. To have trust in Allah.

10. To be contented with little worldly possessions.

11. To adopt piety.

12. To refrain from arguing, quarreling and being wrathful except for the truth.

13. To abstain from malice and envy.

14. To abstain from the desire of respect and fame.

15. To fulfill promises.

16. To be tolerant, far-sighted and supportive of brothers.

17. Gratitude to the benefactor.

18. To sacrifice reputation for the sake of Muslims.

We are what we eat. Today we complain our children are disobedient towards us, but why the surprise? If we feed our children haram (even while in the womb) then the thoughts that will be bred in their minds (later in life) will be haram. Understand well, halal foods breed halal thoughts and halal actions whilst haram food breeds haram thoughts and haram actions.

Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanwi narrates, ‘If before birth of the child, parents were to reform themselves and adopt piety, then there is no reason why the child born too should not be pious. The actions of parents during pregnancy have a profound effect on the unborn child. Accordingly, the son of a saint was quite mischievous. Somebody queried the saint; ‘It is indeed strange; you are so pious yet your son so naughty?’ The saint replied, ‘ One evening I was invited to meals by a rich person (whose income was doubtful). After eating, my nafs became excited and I made love to my wife who became pregnant. This child is the affect of the doubtful food.’

Therefore, during pregnancy (especially) it is of the utmost importance to eat a varied halal diet brought from halal income. If in doubt regarding ingredients, leave it out.

America’s Job Bank — one of the best job sites, with almost a million job leads in their database. Job-seekers can search for jobs or post your resumes. Free. — — a job search engine for United States. In one simple search, Careerjet gives job seekers access to a huge selection of jobs that are sourced from various internet sites, saving the trouble of having to visit each site individually.

Best Jobs in the USA Today — a comprehensive job resource site that includes jobs databases, corporate profiles, resume posting, and a career resources store. — where bilingual job-seekers (English and at least one other language) can search job listings (by language, location, industry, keywords), post your resume, and find job interviewing and resume preparation advice. Free to job-seekers.

Resume Clix — claims to have the largest assortment of job listings on the Net — a combination of help wanted ads of the nation’s leading newspapers and job listings from the Web sites of leading employers. The site also includes many other resources. Free to job-seekers. — lots of job opportunities, searchable by company, location, and discipline. Also lists jobs for new college graduates. A great site. Free to job-seekers.

Career Exposure — a collection of more than 80 career categories where job-seekers can view job postings directly from the site’s client company’s Human Resources Web pages. Also includes information on job search techniques and career advancement. — a fantastic resource that not only allows job-seekers to search for job opportunities, but also has a wonderful collection of articles and resources that job-seekers will find most useful. From The Wall Street Journal.

Career Magazine — great information and career resources for job-seekers… a must-see, where job-seekers can also search for jobs and post your resume! Free to job-seekers. — one of the best job sites, this free site offers job-seekers several services, including posting resumes into a resume database, searching job listings, retrieving jobs matches, listing career fairs, and providing career advice. — where job-seekers from a wide variety of industries across the U.S. and Canada can search for jobs and post your resume. You can search for jobs by keywords, job category, and location. Free to job-seekers.

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